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So I Finally Know What I Want To Do, But My Parents Won’t Let Me? | matalan

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So I Finally Know What I Want To Do, But My Parents Won’t Let Me?

So for the past few years I’ve been really indecisive about what to do for the rest of my life. I’m 16 and I knew that I wanted to play piano professionally but I started later than most people (as in, I started playing at 12, they started at 5) who are serious about it so I wasn’t really sure whether I could make it. Last year I made a deal with God that if He let me get a distinction in my grade 8 piano, since that’s the minimum standard for conservatoire entry, I’d take it as a sign that He was letting me go to music college and everything would work out in the end. So this was the deciding factor for me and I was unsure that I would get it so when I was choosing my A Levels I chose biology, chemistry, maths and music, with sciences as back up in case my music didn’t work out. Anyway, I got my distinction. I know lots of people have grade 8 distinction and most people at conservatoires are diploma standard already, but I still have a while before auditions and I’m willing to take a gap year if need be. So I brought the subject up with my parents. I REALLY want to major in music, but my parents just started shouting about how there’s no money in it and I’ll be broke and jobless and working in Tesco if I do it. But I believe in myself and in my opinion, I probably will be poor for a while after college, but things will get better because I prayed about it for a long time and if God hadn’t wanted me to do this then he wouldn’t have let me get my distinction. So now my parents are really angry about this and they want me to be a scientist or an accountant or do something with finance, since that’s where the money is. My mum keeps saying that they won’t pay for college if I choose music, although that doesn’t really bother me since I wouldn’t have to pay it back unless I earned over 21k, in which case I made the right choice and the money doesn’t matter. If I don’t earn over 21k then I won’t have to pay it back anyway and the money still doesn’t matter. Anyway, she keeps telling me that society doesn’t need music but it needs accountants and scientists, and today she was saying how she doesn’t even want me to play the piano any more and she wants to stop paying for lessons. So I said, ok, I’ll pay for it myself with money that I’m earning from teaching younger kids, and she said she wants me to drop my students and focus on my studies, so I won’t even be able to pay for my lessons myself. And then she shouted at my dad about how annoying my playing was and how they’ve wasted lots of money on my music lessons and how I’m wasting my life chasing something I’ll never have, because everyone is like 10 years ahead of me in terms of how long they’ve been playing. But they took 10 years to get their grade 8s and I took 4, so I think that although there is still a difference between us in terms of how wide our repertoire is and how developed we are in musicality, I will have catched up by the time I’m 80 and it won’t matter any more. Then she got really mad and said WHO PLAYS PIANO WHEN THEY’RE 80?? which really annoyed me because lots of pianists keep playing until the day they die.
I’m not saying I think I’ll be famous and touring or anything, but I think I have a chance being a piano teacher and perhaps playing some chamber music in the future. Anyway I trust that I won’t be broke and living in a skip if I major in music, but I don’t know what to do. My parents are practically threatening to disown me if I take the riskier route, which I know is what I want to do. I think I would be such a bad accountant anyway because I’m not interested in it at all.
Now people are going to tell me to “follow my dreams” or “do as your mum says because she knows better”, but apart from that, what should I do? I don’t want my mum to see me as the “child who failed” for the rest of my life, or the “child who didn’t listen and is now in the slums”, but I don’t want to be an accountant or a scientist either. Music is what I want and I just want to live my life but then I see the joke about moving out and living your life how you want while you still know everything and I just get really depressed and I think to myself, “that’s me…” and then I think that I will live in the slums and I don’t want to do anything any more 🙁

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One Response to “So I Finally Know What I Want To Do, But My Parents Won’t Let Me?”

  1. thing 2 says:

    In my honest opinion work for what u want. If you want to be playing the piano till u die then go for it. Prove your parents wrong. In the end I’m sure they’ll be proud. I mean u could tell them that’s it’s your life and u don’t want to be miserable for the rest of it an make a deal with them if music doesn’t work out then u will try what they want you to but ud like to try your own dream first. And you could even start piano lessons for kids that are younger for you to make extra cash on the side. Many people make money playing the piano. That’s really all the advise I can give. I wish you the best of luck and just follow your heart an things will work out. Good luck!

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