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How Can I Deal With My Father? | matalan

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How Can I Deal With My Father?

Very long story here. My mum and dad are divorced. Ever since my father left me he never paid my mom any money to support me. He would not see me or my sister and come to visit me. When I would go to his house to stay, he would always go out to play sport or invite friends around and did not include me.
He would buy his friends children Easter-Eggs and not me, however he showed me them. I asked where mine was and he said ” you don’t want one or need one”
I was diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome and he told me ” your making it up” and also its my mothers fault I have it.
Awful things he has said to me in the past.
I had to stop seeing him as it because it all became too much. My Grandad died less a month ago and I went to the funeral. After wards my father said ” I was not going to tell you to get in touch if you had missed out people would have though Fu!k you ars!-hole.
He always blames me saying Its my choice I do not see him and its my fault. I have written loads of letters and kept copies to try to get him to understand things but he doesn’t.
I am left with what to do now. I don’t want to see him anymore but In my head I am troubled by this. I also feel if his behaviour had been different then I would have seen my grandad at christmas but I didn’t because the situation was too difficult.
Now I blame my father for his behaviour and as a result I didn’t see him and feel angry at my father due to this.
Please help me people? I cannot live like this

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2 Responses to “How Can I Deal With My Father?”

  1. Sophie says:

    Your fathers grief seems to have made his attitude towards you worse and it also sounds like he isn’t going to try to understand. Maybe he feels more lonelier? Anyways when people grieve they never listen to others and if they feel responsible for the death they either pass on the blame or spiral into a depression. I think you should just avoid him for now. He clearly doesn’t want to bond with you. Eventually he will miss you bugging him and should try to contact you unless he’s a prideful man.

  2. Charles says:

    There are three things you must do, one way or another. 1 … You must accept that you have been dealt a bad situation with a father that obviously doesn’t care about you. 2 .. You must accept that none of what is happening between you and your father is your fault. 3 … After 1 and 2 above, you must learn to move on the best you can. It is obvious that nothing is likely to change, and you are hurting the best years of your life hoping that things will change. Just try to move forward the best you can and vow that when you marry and become a father you now know exactly how NOT to act. Good luck, and God Bless you.

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